As I remember, one little chicken had the mistaken impression the sky was falling when only an acorn hit her in the head. She believes that the world is ending and she must warn everyone. She runs around yelling, “The sky is falling. The sky is falling.” Ultimately, her friends help correct her mistaken perception of reality.

Over and over in my life, I have been afraid of a situation or overwhelmed by an obstacle. I have cowered in a corner and hesitated, unsure if I had the strength to overcome. I remember a friend telling me in no uncertain terms, “Come on, you’re stronger than that!” My friend’s belief in me gave me the extra push I needed to carry on when my burdens seemed too heavy.

I have been thinking about what friendship means to me. Recently, I was at an event where I was surrounded by people who I considered to be good friends of mine. As I saw the familiar faces I was struck by a sad reality. I was unsure of whom these people were. Now, do not get me wrong. I knew who they were by name but somewhere along the line I had lost touch with the actual people behind the public faces.

I wondered to myself, “Do they know me any better than I know them?” I think the answer is clear. Time waits for no one and absence is supposed to make the heart grow fonder, but I realized that although I was surrounded by people whose names I knew I was alone. The gap between us that had been a short jump when I lived in town had become a Grand Canyon after I had moved away.

I remember when I was a local, I would run into friends at the mall or we while tossing back java at local coffee shops. I remember movie dates with a gaggle of guys and long walks around Silver Lake. I remember eating ice cream on iron benches and back alley double cheeseburgers. I remember just going for a drive and singing along to the latest song on the radio. I remember backyard barbeques, sitting on the front porch watching the world go by, and late night conversations that never seemed to have an end. I remember all those good times with good friends.

Now, that I live in another world, getting together means plans and not happenstance. I wait for the phone to ring with voices in my past, but oddly enough, when the phone rings it is someone local to my new house. I know that love can conquer many obstacles but in my heart distance is the hardest obstruction to loving those we once held dear.

I want to be remembered and I want to treasure my connections to old friends. Love is never an easy emotion to sustain. The elusive nature of emotions establishes a very simple rule. To keep all love vibrant, friends must work towards a common ground. When a friend is on your mind, call and tell them how much they mean to you. When you say you are going to get together someday, actually have lunch or go out for coffee. Instead of walking away when a friend taps you on the back, turn around and listen to what they have to say.

What separates a good friend from a bad friend? In my experience this fine line is delineated by the choices we make. Do I choose to love unconditionally or do I put limitations and expectations on my relationship? In my life I know I have made my share of bad choices. I have unwittingly embarrassed or hurt the ones I have held most dear and for that I ask forgiveness. I am choosing this year as a year where friendship really matters to me. It does not matter to me if you are a new friend or an old friend.

Whenever we are together in this super year of change, I know I will have at least two good eggs in my basket.

What is in your basket?

As always,
Love,